I got her a Nickelback box set.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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