these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
they're like a gay fantastic four
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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