At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize