im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
