i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
