he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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