i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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