And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
