I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
