Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
