Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
