she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
