found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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