wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
