the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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