That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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