you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
