We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
