HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
