Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
