is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
