oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
NoShamevember. You game?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
