Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
