she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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