her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
