drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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