shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
