Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
