That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
