if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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