ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
