You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
