Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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