Non-Jews are for practice
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
