make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
