Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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