But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
