I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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