His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize