I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
