I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
