i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
