Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Terrible idea I love it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
