I feel great
I just peed on a car
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
