dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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