"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We have so much sex to catch up on
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
