Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
