you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
