so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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