if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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