I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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