Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
