just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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