I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
