guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize