I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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