I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
